As the title says....LOL Well, I don't have freedom of religion!  I have been busy fighting my family and community over how I believe, simply trying not to get lynched, literally.  Since my father is a deacon in a Missionary Baptist Church, it isn't proper for his daughter to be "saying" she is pagan.  The community want my father out of the church, b/c he stands up for what he believes in and doesn't let anyone push him around.  He is a good man and not in good health. 

While my grandfather lay dead in the church, memebers of my community, decide to look up my Myspace profile and start telling my family that they are going to use it against my father.  Talk about a loving Christian community I live in.  Whatever!  I changed my Myspace profile and I really hope they liked what they read.  I told them if that was being Christian what they are doing, take their Bible and prove it and why would I want to be associated with Xtianity if this is how they act toward a man that is righteous and in bad health?!  I wish my aunt would have told me who told her. She wouldn't and only said she was finished with this person forever and would have nothing more to do with them.  I have a good idea who it was since my daughter was supposed to go play with a little girl she was taking care of.  We never got the call to let me know what time to bring her down and play.  Now the (*^%*&T(**&)(&)#@#$$'s are taking it out on my 10 yr old. 

Therefore, I went through every site that had a pic of me and removed any that ppl could identify as me.  I have been SHOVED back into the broom closet! 

And we thought we had freedom of religion.

 BB

Raeka

Life is good...It has been a long time since I could say that without reservation.

After being separated for 6 weeks, Brian and I moved back in together and bought a house. This has been about 2-3 weeks now. For me, in many ways, it was like coming home. I had lived here previously. Now there are only good memories being made and all the damage from the past is slowly working its way out. I haven't had a BAD nightmare since about the first week in April, and only one nightmare since we moved in here. Brian was worried that the bad memories of this place would bother me, but they haven't. I keep focusing on the good times that I had here with the kids.

Brian is working steadily and has been for ~6 months. His relationship with Faith has blossomed since moving back in together. He even interacts with my family!! (Imagine that.) We have had only 2 disagreements and settled them in a very adult way. He has been great towards me. I think that has helped heal things more than anything. WE treat the kids equally now. I love him and I am in love with him. It has been a long time since I could say both of those.

The time we spent apart did both of us good. He realized what he needed to do, and I realized how to not fly off at the mouth without thinking when I was mad. We try consciously everyday to make each other smile and surprizingly enough, we really do not have to try...it just happens.

I had surgery yesterday on my neck. Hopefully this will help everything heal that was due to the wreck in Novemeber. He has been wonderful in doing a lot of things on his own to this place and taking care of me since I have A LOT of limitations. I'm actually not sure who loves it more over here...Brian or me. LOL

He has promised me that he would build me a bonfire tonight as it is Beltaine. We have a wonderful spot for that where we have been burning things since we moved in. Our goal here is to make it ours not just mine or just his. We want to get the kids a pool and a trampoline to help keep them busy this summer.

Even with all I have been through over the last 5 months, I can say....

Life is good. I want it to stay that way. God and Goddess willing, it will.

Blessed Be,

Raeka

MM everyone! I have been absent with much going on in my life. My husband and I are now separated, for three weeks now. I took some advice from my friends on here and followed my heart, which ultimately lies with my daughter. That is a bond that will never be broken nor can anyone come inbetween. Secondly, My shoulder is healing very slowly and hurting very much. LOL

I too will probably return to school in the fall for my master's. I understand the frustration completely of ppl saying this class doesn't count for this. I was wanting to possibly chase a nursing degree, but they say i have to have 5 more classes, most of which were general education classes. I have a degree in recombinant genetic technology and chemistry! you'd think all i would need is an anatomy and physiology class plus the nursing classes. It really sucks. So I guess I will persue my masters in molecular biology instead.

My ex husband also has moved to Cinncinnati OH. He is no longer my next door neighbor!!! Can we throw a party? However, it makes it difficult for my daughter to see him. Plus I work in Nashville, TN, so Friday nights are gonna be fun. We are to meet in Louisville, KY. So I'll be driving about 7 hours altogether on Fridays.

I hope everyone is doing well and that the Goddess is healing and guiding. I know she was guiding me in the few days after I told my husband to leave. Now the road is easier as I really feel I have done the right thing. For the first time in countless months, he had something nice to say to my daughter last night when she answered the phone when he called. I'm not saying we are destined to fix this, because I am not sure we are. But he was polite and that is something different.

Blessed Be,
Raeka

You Are A Lime Tree

You are intelligent, hard working, and innately successful. You try to change what you can in life - and you accept what you can't change. Tough on the outside, you are actually soft and relenting. Jealous at times, you are extremely loyal and giving to those you love. You have many talents, but you don't have enough time to use them.

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame. You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out. You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable. You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go. Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive. Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

I thought I was a water sign since I am a Pisces!!! LOL